Memes & inspirational quotes can be found all over SM. Either as captions to pictures or a call to action to loved ones that we need to only count our blessings and not our problems.
I believe that this is the biggest disservice that we can do for one another.
There is a huge disconnect between how people are actually living and how people are portraying themselves to be living their lives. The way we seem to have to curate only the *good* stuff, seems kinda ridiculous and I don’t find it is serving anyone in the positive way we want to.
Social Psychologists have recently shown stats of people who spend more than 2 hours a day on SM are more likely to have mental health problems and teen suicide rates as well as disordered eating are on the rise.
The Wall Street Journal recently posted an article all about social isolation & it’s damaging effects. The report stated that ‘social isolation needs to be seen as a public health issue.’
Why do you think that is?
We seem to have had a huge disconnect in our Human-ness. There seems to be this notion that we need to have the *perfect* pose, the *perfect* clothes, the *perfect* relationship, the *perfect*_______.
The list can go on and on.
Let me make this clear: NOTHING is inspired by Perfection.
And though I’m not suggesting that all we do is turn around and bitch and complain about life every day- I do want us to get real and admit when shit gets hard.
Because then that gives permission to others to not feel like they aren’t *winning* at life.
I have been more than open about my struggles (growth lessons) this past year and you know what, the emails I get from many of you are my exact story. Yet, had I never shared, I would have never known.
Listen, I’m not saying wash your dirty laundry in public. What I am suggesting is for you to be real though. If a close friend asks you: ‘How’s it going?’, be brave enough to admit that it’s messy. And then see how that connection grows.
Being real isn’t about you being weak or failing at life btw.
Admitting that shit is messy is the bravest thing you can do. It sets you free. You don’t have to keep pretending. And it does a service to others struggling too. It let’s them be brave, real and honest.
But how do you do that without airing your dirty laundry in public?
1) When the emotions arrive, let them flow through you. Take a moment and reflect. This would NOT be the time to hit up your Keyboard in a rant. Instead, sit with the uncomfortableness. Uncensored journaling is a great tool for this.
2) After you have gotten your head around it, look to share the insights you discovered with another human. A close friend or family member. Listen to other possibilities of growth that could be drawn from your story. I like practicing Gratitude for this one as well.
3) If you want to share your Human-ness with others on SM, please write from a scar, not from a fresh wound. Make sure you have done some of the Mindset work around this and that you are not coming out to blast another rant about how you are the victim.
And the caveat here is this: IF the story involves someone else, please don’t just throw them under the bus. There are many things I would love to share with you all because I know that they could really help someone- but they aren’t mine to tell. So refrain from this or get the other person’s permission.
Perception is tricky. Just remember that your perception isn’t the only one. And there are always three sides to any truth. Your truth, the other person’s truth and THE truth.
So just think of this as you scroll through all the *happy shiny people* and feel that you aren’t doing life right.
And then do yourself a favour, and remove those people from your feeds. Do it for your own emotional mental well being.
Everything is energy- so if there are people you follow that seem to be *too* negative – remove them as well.
Again, share your human-ness but also recognize the human-ness in others.
‘In most of our human relationships, we spend much of our time reassuring each other that our costumes of identity are on straight.’
Let’s start to remove the costumes we feel we have to wear and instead begin to show our Human-ness with clear purpose and intent. I believe the world would be a much better place if we did this.
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