Imposter Syndrome is the real deal. It is the fear of being *found out* by not being who you are trying to be. That fear of being a fraud really can take hold of us, without a moment’s notice.
I had a dear friend share with me how she is transitioning to a new job. She has all the qualifications & experience. Yet she is struggling with accepting that she really is qualified with the experience.
She shared with me how it is the fear of her own expectations of not knowing the new position just yet.
And that is the thing about FEAR- it is a real life physiological thing that can leave us paralyzed into moving forward.
So here is what I responded to her:
You need to release the way you think it’s gonna be.
Your mind can’t tell the difference between reality & fantasy.
And of course you don’t know all the things to do with this new job- you’ve never done it. That’s your ego trying to fight you. That’s your perfectionist trying to keep you small.
Tell those voices to kindly shut the fuck up. If this job scares you then you must do it. Because that’s where your next level of growth will come from. And your inner voices are trying to keep you small- so go & get big! Expand- learn new things.
Ask yourself how many things you have learned in the past that were hard?
Walking was the biggest challenge when you were a baby- good thing you didn’t just give in after falling a minimum of 10K times. Put it in perspective- to get to the next step you gotta go through the first- you can’t skip the struggle.
Will it be uncomfortable? Sure. Will you survive? Of course you will.
The better you get at discomfort- the better you get.
You need to look yourself in those amazing eyes of yours- look past your outer shell & go deep into your soul. Tell yourself that even though this is scary as shit, remind yourself that these are simply *opportunities* for learning (your perfectionist calls this failure/errors/mistakes/mess ups) yet the TRUTH is that those OPPORTUNITIES will help get you to figure shit out & grow as the badass warrior YOU already ARE!
And here’s the secret: you can always go back- (sure maybe not to the job you had) but you can figure things out to make sure you’re ok. Do you know how I know this? Because look at how you’ve always managed to show up & take care of your shit!
So yeah- the pressure is off, once you realize that you can do anything- you can go back- nothing is irreversible. Nothing is permanent – except death of course.
And perhaps you won’t wanna go back- because you may look for the next scary opportunity & go learn that shit for a while too. And keep growing and evolving and accepting the struggle & insecurities.Once you see that you can’t predict outcomes then you understand you can’t attach your self worth to those outcomes- so all you do have control over is how you CHOOSE to show up fully in your life-
Cause the thing about FEAR is that it is real. Yet, you can talk some sense into it to make it work in your favour.
Use Practical Pessimism.
Meaning take those negative thoughts and follow them out. Keep asking yourself what would be so bad if XYZ happened? And if XYZ happened, do you think you would be able to figure it out? Breathe through this Mindset work.
Because the truth is You get to CHOOSE. You Get to LEARN. And the more you embrace these opportunities, the better you get at the scary stuff- the MORE Confidence you build, the MORE Competence you will feel, and the loop continues because you will actively step out of your comfort zone. Comfort zones only have space for complacency and there’s no growth there.
Let me ask you, what decisions are you stuck on making? What is the one thing you really wanna get after but are afraid to? What is the thing holding you back?
That’s all for now darlings, I leave you with this one wish I have for you as we close in on 2K17- EXPAND love.
The world needs ALL of you.
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