Tag: forgiveness

Ep 61- The Do-Over Process with Danny J

n this episode we talk about life, infidelity, starting over and how to take your power back.

 

Connect with Danny J HERE.

 

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As always, if this episode helped you in any way, please share it out with those you love.

 

Grateful for you!

 

All things with love & honey,

C

xo

 

Lessons we’ve learned from Infidelity

Lessons we’ve learned from INFIDELITY

1. You will heal. Don’t rush it. Seek professional help. Do the work necessary to help you heal. 

2. You will come out stronger than you ever thought possible.

3. You must forgive yourself (whether it was you that was unfaithful or you were the one betrayed)

4. Choosing to forgive others, sets you free.

5. You are not a victim.

6.You will grow from this.

7. Surround yourself with those who hold space for you, in a non judgmental way.

8. You will learn so much from the pain yet remember this pain can be your catalyst for many beautiful life lessons. Go into it. 

9. Shame is an emotion that serves no one. Neither does blame.

10. Accepting what is instead of fighting what could have been. It happened. Stop pain shopping (wanting to know all the details & connecting all the dots). 

11. Healing is not linear. Allow all the feels. 

12. People make mistakes. These mistakes are not our identity, nor are they our life sentence.

13. You can choose to stay. This doesn’t mean you are weak or have no self respect for yourself.

14. Don’t place people on pedastals. They only have one way to fall.

15. Your partner cannot be *everything* to you. “Love is messy, infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like none other, into the crevices of the human heart.” ~Esther Perel from the book The State Of Affairs

You can not only survive infidelity but also THRIVE in your marriage. We are living proof. Trust can be rebuilt. Honour & respect restored. Faith over fear, Always.

And know that no matter what, you are already #WorthyAF right now to have all you desire. 

All things with love,

C

Xo

You’re allowed to change your mind.

Darling, you’re allowed to change your mind.  Change your ideas. Change your life.

You don’t need to justify or explain this to anyone.

I believe that one of the greatest tragedies in life is to lose your own sense of self and accept the version of you that is expected by everyone.

Let me ask you honestly, how often have you made a decision but then maybe regretted it?

Or how many times have you been too afraid to even make a decision because of the fear of what others would think?

Or worse, you were afraid to make a decision because you don’t want to make the *wrong* decision.

Trust me girlfriend, I totally get it.

But listen, all of this is part of the human experience, is it not?

Life is a series of making decisions.

Day in –

Day out.

But here’s the thing:

YOU ARE ALLOWED TO PIVOT.

You don’t have to stay stuck somewhere unless YOU CHOOSE TO.

Here’s a strategy that I want to share with you when it comes time to evaluate your decisions.

P-Perspective.  This is our power.  Don’t like what you see, then change it.

I-Integrity.  What feels most in your integrity?

V-Values.  What code do you choose to live by?

O-Own your decision after you’ve made it.  If you choose it no longer serves you, then refer back to this & PIVOT doll!

T-Life is full of TRANSITIONS.  Transitions aren’t meant to be smooth and easy- they are meant to break you open to grow you. Go through them instead of running from them.

And darling, you NEVER have to explain yourself to anyone.

EVER.

You do what feels right to you.  At that moment in time.

And if after you’ve made it, you feel like it’s not one that serves you any longer- then PIVOT, readjust and own the fuck outta that new decision.

Remember this, NOTHING in life is permanent.

Except for tattoos and death.

And I would even argue that tattoos aren’t even “permanent” because you can decide to change them, add to the story of them or have them removed.

Whatever you feel is best for you.

What I want to reiterate here is ACCOUNTABILITY & RESPONSIBILITY for your decisions.

I’m not in the business of blaming other people for the decisions I’ve made (good or bad).

That shit is on ME.

Meaning,  I’m 100% responsible and accountable to those actions, thoughts, and follow through decisions.

All of them.

All the time.

NO ONE ELSE.

The Blame game is complete bullshit and will never let you live your life with your highest self’s best interest.

The Blame game keeps you a victim.

The Blame game steals your Power.

And darling, YOU are so much better than that Blame game mindset.

Increase your responsibility & take your power back.

Forgive yourself for past decisions.  You aren’t *perfect*.

NO ONE IS.

Look inward FIRST.  And stay there.  Feel the feels.  Then decide in that moment, what you are prepared to do & PIVOT.

What is your head saying? Now listen to your heart.

I’ve had a few clients who’ve asked me how do they learn to tell the difference between head & heart talk when it comes to making decisions.

And here is the best way I use to explain it:

When you speak of something and you use the words: I “think” I should…—-This is head talk.

When you speak of something and you use the words: I “feel” I should…..This is heart talk.

Just don’t stay stuck in your head.  There is no “In hindsight…”

That phrase is one that keeps you stuck because we only know what we only know.

Make your decisions, and own them.

All on you sister.

Live your life loud & full.  Without justifications & explanations.

XO

Share with me what decision you’ve made that you regret, or what decision are you afraid to make.  Let’s chat!

 

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