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“What would you do if you could not fail?”- is not helpful question.

Story time- this time last year, I recorded my very first podcast interview…and it sucked! I mean the fact that I had NO CLUE what I was doing sucked! I had an incredible guest just finish explaining her story on how she got to where she is in her business and I realized that I hadn’t been recording anything! OMG! Talk about embarrassing!

But because, I am not afraid to be a beginner and allow myself the space to suck as I learn & grow, I quickly figured it out. Thanks Melanie Knights for all your patience and guidance! (Ps she is a Productivity and Content Systems Expert helping women manage their work life balance. Check her out! 🙂 )

So let me ask you, what is your dream? What goal are you working towards?

The thing that is keeping you from taking Messy Action is because you are stuck in your head. The truth is Perfectionism is not your friend sister.

In this week’s Food For Thought Video, I give you actionable steps to start practicing the Messy.

Be sure to tune into next week’s Food For Thought on Facebook & Instagram.

Mindset Hacks to Own Your Life

Where were you right before the stroke of midnight on New Years Eve? Where were you physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually?

We are now 9 months into this year- are you were you expected to be?

If not, then have a listen to this Mindset Hacks to help you get fired up to own the rest of 2019 & get set for 2020!

Tell me, what came up for you?

3 Ways to Effectively Use Comparison

Listen, it doesn’t seem to matter what your goals are (getting out of debt, building a business, getting in shape, etc.) there will always be times where we may find ourselves comparing our suckage to someone else’s highlighted reel.

In this Food For Thought episode, I give you actionable steps on how to use comparison so that you don’t end up stuck with comparisonitis.

  1. It’s not a Zero Sum World. Meaning, just because someone else’s seems to be “winning at life” doesn’t mean that you can’t succeed as well. In fact, I love to use this as a time to be genuinely excited for that person. Why? Because it gives me hope for POSSIBILITIES. In other words, if they can do it, then so can you sister.

2. Stop comparing your Starting point to someone else’s mid journey. We all get there when we get there sis! Your Ego will definitely try to trick you into believing that you “suck” because you haven’t allowed yourself the space to be a beginner yet. Girlfriend, let go of that Perfectionism & get into the MESSY Practice of taking up space in your goals. Switch that perspective & you will see things for what they really are.

3. Get curious. Ask yourself “Who do I need to become in order to earn this?” Ask yourself empowering questions like “What does a person who is debt free live like?” “What does a person who is living a healthy lifestyle live like?” “What does an author live like?” All of these questions will help you see how you need to show up in the goal you want to achieve. What messy consistent steps need to be taken daily? Go deep with this process.

No matter where you are in your journey, I really want you to know that you are already #WorthyAF to receive it. You just gotta believe in the magic of possibility.

Want more? Make sure to tune into my Facebook & Instagram Food For Thought shows on Thursday night at 8pm EST.

It’s ok to want to change your body AND learn to love & respect the skin you’re in NOW.

Sister,
It is OK to want to change your body.

But it’s very important to learn to accept & respect the skin you’re in NOW.

Why?

Because look at how *successful* you’ve been at accomplishing any goal you set out to do only using self criticism as your main motivating factor.

Listen, that shit doesn’t work long term.

Darling, you only have ONE body.

And beating it down emotionally, physically & mentally is no longer serving your ultimate health.

Every year around this time, our newsfeeds are flooded with pressure to “hurry up to get bikini body ready!” 

I’m over here like, “But babe, just put a damn bikini on your body & own your sessyness.”

But in all seriousness, here are ways to improve the relationship with your body & begin to take up space in it. 

1. STOP comparing your physical attributes to someone else’s. This is such a negative behaviour that happens several hundred times a day. The first step is bringing awareness to this automatic habit. Ask yourself how this really makes you feel deep down? Is what you say to yourself kind? Is it something you’d say to your sister, daughter, mother, friend? 

2. FAT is not a feeling love. Meaning when you feel “fat”, take this as an invitation to explore further where you are feeling inadequate in your life? What emotion lies beneath the surface? Get curious. 

3. Avoid conversations that enforce the body bashing & shaming talk. Ladies, you know what I’m talking about. The “She’s too big, she’s too small, she’s too curvy, she’s too muscular, she’s too jiggly, she’s too much, etc.” And I’m not just talking about the way we pick each other apart. I’m especially talking about the way us women tear each other apart. No. Just No. STOP that shit. 
It’s tacky & ugly. And you darling, are much too classy for that kind of nasty gossip. 

4. Get back into your body.
Do this by exploring doing things you love!
Be that dancing, swimming, yoga, having sex. Whatever it is: BE in it. 

5. Eat foods you love & that love you back. Get that water in & learn to manage your stress by improving your sleep hygiene. 

Whose excited for warmer weather?

PS- I should really clean this mirror 😛

3 things my 40 year old self would tell my 20 year old self

1- Gurl, take ya damn time. Why you always in a hurry to do all these BIG things. Learn to get focused and ASK for help. Remember, every successful person you see has a team of people behind them.  Be open to asking & receiving guidance, support & help.

2-The quality of your life improves when you learn to ask better questions.  I know you’ve survived some pretty shitty things in life.  But that’s just it babe.  You SURVIVED.  Now, consider this.  Events that happen are neutral.  This does not take away the pain and suffering. But rather, it puts you back in your power when you realize that you put that pain and suffering behind the event.  You created the meaning behind it.  So here’s where the magic comes in.  To heal anything in life you gotta feel it.  And to feel it, I want you to learn to ask BETTER questions.

Instead of saying: Why me?

Ask, What did this teach me? What did I learn about myself and the world around me? How could I grow from this? What positive things did this teach me? Who do I choose to be from this moment forward?

3-You deserve a seat at the table.  You are worthy already to have the life you desire.  All you have to do is show up in it.  Want to start that new business? Do it? Want to write that book? Do it.  Want to further your education, skills & training? Do it. Want to travel the world? DO it.

The minute you realize that life is MORE THAN the size of your body & your food choices, then girl, you are ready to officially BE up in all of what life has brought you.

The most important piece of advice that I would want my 20 year old self to know, is that she already matters.  And her story matters.  And that everyone has a few chapters they don’t read out loud.

What would you tell your 20 year old self?

Share with me in the FeedThatGlow community HERE.

Never forget your past, it has shaped you into who you are now & you always get to choose how to write your story.

Are you a Failure?


#RealTalk
 I’ve been feeling in a funk these past few days. Actually if I’m being at all honest, I’ve been feeling like a #FAILURE.

Now, ya gurl, knows that she’s NOT a failure and also that these feelings of defeat are all part of living the human mess in all its glory.

If you’ve been feeling like this ✌️, here are some actionable steps to help you take back yo power babe.

1. Take a DEEP breath. When we feel like we are failures, the truth is we are Self Diagnosing our physical states compared to someone else’s highlighted reels. Put your hand on your heart, close your eyes. Ask yourself how many of the 💩days have you survived? ALL. OF. THEM.


2. Lady Gaga said it best: it’s not about winning. It’s about GETTING. BACK. UP. –

3. Sister, there is no such thing as “failing”. You either LIVE or you LEARN. You are green & growing. Trust that LIFE is always happening FOR you and you are more than resourceful to figure it out. –

4. Emotions are nothing but ENERGY in Motion. Let it FLOW through you. Do not let these feelings become your identity. You were made for more. You know it. You feel it in your bones. So babe, MOVE these feels outta you. Dance, sing, cry, scream. – Just know that YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE.

Watch this week’s episode of #FoodForThought HERE.

I see you. I feel you. You matter babe. I won’t let you ever forget that. Promise. Xo

Lessons we’ve learned from Infidelity

Lessons we’ve learned from INFIDELITY

1. You will heal. Don’t rush it. Seek professional help. Do the work necessary to help you heal. 

2. You will come out stronger than you ever thought possible.

3. You must forgive yourself (whether it was you that was unfaithful or you were the one betrayed)

4. Choosing to forgive others, sets you free.

5. You are not a victim.

6.You will grow from this.

7. Surround yourself with those who hold space for you, in a non judgmental way.

8. You will learn so much from the pain yet remember this pain can be your catalyst for many beautiful life lessons. Go into it. 

9. Shame is an emotion that serves no one. Neither does blame.

10. Accepting what is instead of fighting what could have been. It happened. Stop pain shopping (wanting to know all the details & connecting all the dots). 

11. Healing is not linear. Allow all the feels. 

12. People make mistakes. These mistakes are not our identity, nor are they our life sentence.

13. You can choose to stay. This doesn’t mean you are weak or have no self respect for yourself.

14. Don’t place people on pedastals. They only have one way to fall.

15. Your partner cannot be *everything* to you. “Love is messy, infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like none other, into the crevices of the human heart.” ~Esther Perel from the book The State Of Affairs

You can not only survive infidelity but also THRIVE in your marriage. We are living proof. Trust can be rebuilt. Honour & respect restored. Faith over fear, Always.

And know that no matter what, you are already #WorthyAF right now to have all you desire. 

All things with love,

C

Xo

Why Choose A WORD?

Back in 2012, I was DONE with New Years Resolutions. I just always struggled to keep them. And apparently, I’m not the only one.

Did you know that upwards of 92% of people who make Resolutions, drop them before the first month of the year is complete?

See the issue I have with New Years Resolutions is that they always seem to be rooted in unworthiness. They always feel like they are a means to an end. They kinda give me a bad taste in my mouth- just like those “Before/After” photos. I mean seriously, we are all on a Journey of life. There’s no ‘end’ until the end, ya know?

So back in 2012, I decided to try something different.

I chose a WORD.

At first I’ll admit, it was a little strange when people would ask me what my resolutions were and I’d be like: “My word for this year is….”

But now that it’s been 8 years in the making, I get so excited to just share what WORD choose me. As well as hear what others have chosen as their word.

I just feel like there is much more depth and emotional charge that can come from choosing a WORD to help lead your year.

For nothing more than entertainment here are the words I’ve used to help spark my Highest Self to show up Powerfully since 2012.

2012- PERSEVERE. The year I competed in my First BodyBuilding Show

2013-PAY IT FORWARD. The year I helped head a huge fundraiser for the Toronto Hospital for Sick Children. The Korn For Kids team & I raised over 10K that year! AMAZING!

2014- SIMPLICITY. The year I had my second burnout from over extending myself in various Pay It Forward Projects from the year before.

2015- LIMITLESS. The year I took my personal training online & Feed That Glow was born.

2016- CREATE. The year I hired my first business coach & learned so much about myself & how to build the foundations to go all in as an online brand- cue the imposture syndrome.

2017- GRIT. The year my whole world fell apart, broke me open & the recurring theme was loss. EVERYTHING was especially hard af that year.

2018-JOY. The year I decided that no matter what was happening around me, I could choose how I wanted to show up in it as JOY. Also the year we started attacking our debt from a healthy money mindset.

2019- EXPAND. This year my vision is to expand in ALL my relationships, including the women I serve online. This is the year I want to help women overcome their issues with food & body image. I want to teach women how to repair their relationship with bingeing on food & bingeing on overspending. #BreakingTheBinge

So you’re probably thinking- but how do I chose a word?

Here are a few tips to help you see if the word you choose is a fit for you.

  1. Reflect on what it is you want to create. How you want to live this year? What are you planning on BEing? Close your eyes and picture it all.

2. Write down words that feel like what you envisioned above. Words (or short phrases) that empower you. Do a complete brain dump on a sheet of paper. Then Narrow your list to a few. This practice gets easier and easier with every year, I promise.

3. Let it simmer. I legit let my WORD simmer for a few days. Actually, by allowing that space, you will feel which one is calling to you more.

4.Try it on for size. Close your eyes. Now say your word out loud. How does it feel in your body? Where do you feel it in your body? If it feels warm, like home, at peace in your body- then you may have found your word.

5. Share your WORD. Write it where you will see it everyday.

I have come to love this practice so much. In fact come December, my WORD usually just comes to me out of nowhere. I’ve been wearing my 2019 WORD on my wrist since October 2018.

Found your word? Share with me!